Guest Blog by Claire - SEN Parent Coach
Behind the Lens: A SEN Parent’s Journey to a Joyful Family Photoshoot
A photoshoot can feel unattainable if someone in your family has additional needs. Will they cope with the new environment? Will we get any good photos? Will the photographer understand them or expect them to follow directions? Are we just setting ourselves up for dysregulation and a miserable day out? I know because I’ve been there. I have two gorgeous children with additional needs, a mixture of Special Educational Needs and medical needs and I would never have booked my family a photoshoot. Luckily, my wonderful friend bought one for me as a gift and I decided to be brave and go for it, hoping that we might get one photo that we could put on the wall.
What actually happened was a lovely hour at a flower farm with Danielle making some suggestions of how we might like to play; swiftly followed by a gallery of incredible photos that show my children’s personalities and how much love we have as a family. It is possible and it is worth the effort it takes to make it a success.
I am lucky enough to have a background in teaching in a special school and this has given me lots of experiences and strategies to pull from with my own children. I’d like to share some of the ways you might make a photoshoot a success for your family, additional needs or not!
Preparation
Choose your photographer carefully.
Have a look at their website, their social media and any reviews you can find. Once you’ve found someone who fits the bill, reach out and explain what you’re hoping for and what accommodations your family will need. Danielle immediately put me at ease and explained how we would make the photography session achievable and enjoyable for my family.
Plan your timings.
When in the day is the best time for your family? Are you early risers or slow to start the day? Picking a time that everyone is functioning at their best will serve you well.
Choose a location to suit you.
I asked Danielle if we could have our photos taken outside as this is where our children are happiest and Danielle suggested a gorgeous flower farm. This worked amazingly for us but what might work best for you? Photos at home, in the garden or in a familiar place might be better for making everyone at ease and most able to enjoy the session.
Explain what you’re doing and why.
Not knowing what to expect is anxiety inducing and can make something that should be nice feel very scary. Look at some photos of your family that you already have and talk about how they were taken and practise taking some photos on your phone or camera if you have one. Talk about what the photographer will be doing and what you will do as a family. You might be able to find a video of a photoshoot similar to yours online to show them. Social stories can be really helpful for those who need repetition and simple clear explanations – Danielle can provide these for your session.
Use your normal strategies.
If you usually explain what will be happening with a social story, use one of those for the photoshoot. I know Danielle has been working on some of her own to explain the process! If you usually use a visual timetable or a now and next board continue to use those to explain what is going to be happening.
Plan what you’ll wear.
I think a great way to make everyone look their best is for them to be comfortable. I picked a colour scheme and made sure we all had multiple options that fit, were comfortable and suited what we were doing. We all had spares in the car that fit the colour scheme in case we needed to change last minute or during the photoshoot and that removed the pressure of a last minute need to change clothes meaning we didn’t look the way I’d like us to.
On the day
Stay on schedule.
Try to keep lots of things the same so that the photoshoot doesn’t disrupt normal rhythms and routines. It is a fun outing so go about it how you would for other nice mornings or afternoons out. Give yourselves lots of time so that it isn’t a rush to get out of the house if your photoshoot isn’t at home.
Repeat the visual prompts.
If you’ve used a social story, visual timetable or now and next board to introduce that a photoshoot is happening go over it again on the day. Knowing what is going to be happening reduces anxiety.
Travel with time to spare.
If you are leaving your home for a photoshoot then give yourself lots of time to get to the location. If you are stressed that you’re going to hit traffic and be late, everyone will pick up on the stress and feel it too so try to avoid the rush.
During the shoot
Be yourselves.
You want photos of your family, so relax and be yourselves. If someone becomes dysregulated, then do the normal things you would do to help them regulate. The beginning of this might not be pretty, but you’ll often get lovely moments of connection that can make for a beautiful photo. If you end up lying on the ground watching the clouds and having a cuddle or spinning on the beach, you’ll end up with brilliant photos of lovely memories.
Communicate as normal.
If you use sign language, continue to sign during your photoshoot. If you use PECS, continue to use it. If someone uses an AAC device, have it with them. That is part of your family’s dynamic and will make it feel like you. You need to be able to communicate as normal to connect as normal- and your connections are what make the photographs so special.
Follow their interest.
If someone is distracted by a flower or a bird, look at it with them rather than trying to direct their focus towards a camera they might not care about very much. If they’ve had enough of one space, then move with them to another. Friction will happen when you’re trying to get people to do something they don’t want to, so try to reduce this as much as is practical.
Danielle made some great suggestions with us, but we never felt any pressure. If someone wasn’t keen, we just skipped that or some of us went to do it, and not all of us.
Positivity
A positive mental attitude can get you a long way in life and can be very contagious. Tell your children what they’re doing that you love, and they’re much more likely to do more of that. Tell them what they shouldn’t be doing, and they’re also quite likely to do more of that too! Loads of praise, a few silly jokes or tickles, and even a favourite song can go a long way to making the photoshoot a lovely memory that you have some lifelong keepsakes of.
Bribes
When all else fails, bribes! Bubbles, singing, music, or little sweets… whatever it is that motivates you all might just need to make a brief appearance during the photoshoot to keep everyone content and feeling good.
Go for it!
I treasure the photographs Danielle took of our family. One of the photos is my phone lockscreen, we have them printed and displayed in the house and I have used them as my profile photos on social media. That’s how much I love them! I am so glad we were brave and tried a photoshoot when we were unsure how it would work for us. We will absolutely be having more photoshoots in the future now that we know how to make them a success so I hope you will too.
A big thank you to Claire @senparentcoach for this guest blog. Please go give her a follow on Instagram for some amazing tips about raising SEN children.
